Whoops!
by Druna Malgood
Summary: Strange things happen and they're usually caused three girls. And they usually happen to Fletcher Renn, Valkyrie Cain, Tanith Low, Skulduggery Pleasant and Ghastly Bespoke. Better than it sounds.
1. Dance,Dance

**Chapter One- The Plot and The Plan**

"Is that them?

"They're so far away!"

"They look like midgets"

"Well, we're midgets."

"We better hurry ourselves up anyway!

"Move over."

"Hurry up!"

"Pull that big metal thing off!"

"Did you just stand on my toes?!"

"Maybe…"

"You always bloody do that!"

"Remind me why are we doing this again?"

"Because we're flesh-eating mongoose from the isles of Prague."

"Makes sense…"

"Oh! Look at them! Fletchy is so hot! So bloody handsome!"

"Druna shut up! That's Flaring's line!"

"Well excuse me for having feelings for more than three unfictional characters, Shakra!"

"Is that even a word?"

"Microsoft word processor doesn't think so."

"Wow sucks."

"Shush girls! Shut your lips! Here they come! Lets go and hide in those three conveniently placed wheely bins by those bushes."

"Yes sir!"

"Yes, Master!"

Three strange and strangely dressed girls hurried swiftly towards three bins and quickly scrambled into one each, closing the lids over their black haired, orange haired and messy brown haired heads.

_**An hour and a half later, hidden in bins that lacked of oxygen and fan fiction…**_

"I think their gone!"

"Really?! Yay!"

"I swear there's crab in here…"

Three girls, that went by many names, scrambled out of their bins and linked arms, immediately beginning to skip and sing loudly.

They happily hopped over the man hole that they had opened an hour ago to trap either Skull-man, Tanith, Val or Fletchy, and continued to sing even more loudly this time.

Somewhere a crab began to dance…

______

**Hey dudes!**

**This is my way into the Skull-man community! Yay! This is my idea by the way (Despite Flaring probably stealing it!)**

**However, I do not own anything else (Well…Fletcher…no no! Shut up! ): ), the Godliness himself, Derek Landy does.**

**Yes, the awesome guy who lives with the badgers that has a phone (a phone number of which I shall steal from Shakra. She actually has his mother's number!) and who occasionally talks to me on bebo.**

**I have been an obsessive fan of Skulduggery Pleasant the second it came out! The books are quite rightly awesome and I should just shut up now!**

**Signed,Faithfully**

**Druna Malgood**


	2. Maneater

**Chapter Two-The Man Hole**

It was a normal day in Dublin. The sun didn't shine, the birds didn't chirp and the trees didn't sway. However, weirdly enough it wasn't raining…

Three people and a well disguised skeleton walked along the pavement, scarily serious looks on their faces. The black haired, 17 year old girl-Valkyrie Cain was first to penetrate the silence that hung in the harsh air.

"Where the hell are we going?"

"That is indeed a good question ...any takers?" The skeleton in a brown suit and an awesome hat said. Skulduggery Pleasant turned his skull to look at the small group.

"I thought you were the man-Skeleton with all the answers?" The devilishly handsome 19-year-old blonde boy-Fletcher Renn muttered, receiving a well aimed punch on his noggin.

"Val! No hitting the morons! Their special." The blonde woman-Tanith Low said, grinning slightly as she linked arms with Valkyrie.

"Back to matter at hand, if I may?" Skulduggery asked. If he had eyes, he would be rolling them and if he had lips they would be drew into a smirk. Or a scowl. Which ever came first.

"Well basically, China was busy at the Library so we were unable to annoy her. Ghastly is busy making clothes…" Everyone turned to look at Tanith who had trailed off, a dreamy smile on her face. They all knew she harboured strong feelings for the scarred, dressmaker.

Val and Fletcher both broke into peals of silent laughter, sharing a rather cringe worthy and romantic moment. The both blushed and looked away. Skulduggery shook his skull. _Kids…_

Though, he had to admit he did feel something other than annoyance towards the blonde boy. Anger? Well, he was definitely protective of Val, he had to admit.

Tanith, breaking out of her stupor, finished her sentence. "And we began wandering the streets of Dublin with no destination. But don't worry, trouble usually finds us."

"That's true." They all murmered, nodding in agreement. They settled into a comfortable silence as they walked further and further.

"Ow!"

"Will you please stop that! Its frickin' annoying!" Val yelled at Fletcher after jumping on his toes, annoyed at his continual hair flicking as the silence progressed.

"You know you love it." Fletcher gave her a wink, causing another yelp of pain to be issued from his lips. "Would you please stop killing my toes?!"

"You know you love it." Val said in a fake, high pitched voice and began fluttering her eyelashes, as if there was an elephant stuck in her eye. She gave a Fletch-worthy flick of her hair and smirked.

Tanith and Skulduggery this time broke into peals of laughter at the expression on Fletchers face.

"You're all ganging up on me, you big bullies!" Fletcher cried out and flounced off, arms crossed over his chest.

"Fletcher! Watch ou-" The two girls and the Skeleton called out at once but it was too late…Fletcher had fallen down the uncovered man hole and into the sewage system down below.

Skulduggery, Tanith and Val crowded around the hole and peered down. The blonde 19 year old gazed up at them, a sheepish grin plastered onto his face. "Whoops!"

"I'm not getting him out."

"Me neither."

"I'm not either."

_**1 hour later, spectacularly wasted peering down a man hole….**_

"Oooh! I forgot I could teleport!"

"Fletcher!"

______

**I don't know anything! I blame the fish! **

**Damn that was short! I do not own Flaring or Shakra or the Dancing crab. They own themselves! I do not own the Skulduggery characters either as I've said before! Derek Landy does! Um...The next chapter will be much,much longer! :D**

**Signed,Faithfully**

**Druna Malgood**


	3. Better If You Do it

**Chapter Three-Perfect Nonsense **

The three girls dangled their legs off the bridge as they sat on the edge, grasping the pole above them.

"Lucky _charms!"_

"I'm bored."

"Me too, deary."

"Fuck yeah."

"Don't swear Olivvy."

"Shut up, you Irish noob! Where's Kyle?"

"Who?"

"Kyle! The black greasy haired person."

"I though that was me?"

"I thought that was Sev…"

"Whoops, I typed up an x.," said a voice from behind them

All the three girls turned at once to the boy sitting behind them, a laptop propped up in between them.

"Who the hell are you?"

"And why the hell are typing what were saying?"

The handsome, brown haired teenage boy stood up and bowed graciously, trodding on his laptop in the process.

"Oh shit… I mean! My names Pip, at your service. Or well at the writer service."

"Huh?"

"Basically I was told to come here and type up everything happening with you guys for a fan fiction site. Apart from this-hey what the hell are you doing?!" he said angrily, noticing Shakra typing something on his trodden laptop.

"Typing this up, you cow full of cheese all origination from around the world."

Druna and Flaring promptly fell into peals of laughter, immensely scaring the randomly appearing boy.

"Of course. Anyway, you masterminds can go back to doing whatever you do and I'll just blend into the background." he said and suddenly disappeared along with his laptop, the faint sound of out of tune Black Eyed Peas singing to be sounded

Yeah, I don't know either. Maybe it was Spongebob?

"Ooooooookaaaaaaaaayyyyyy."

"That was rather strange…"

"Indeed. So what are we going to do anyway?"

"Break into Skulduggery's house while listening to Fall out Boy and Paramore?"

"Sure, sounds good. I'll go and get the chickens and the Lemon Drops."

"I'll go and get the Chocolate frogs."

"Guys?! Noobs? Come back? Oh well…I'll go and get some mood music and wine…"

_____

**I have no clue,seriously! I don't own much. Well apart from Pip.**

**I have no clue who he is xD**

**Oh well! See ya!**

**Signed,Faithfully **

**Druna Malgood.**


	4. Breakeven

**Chapter four-Jingle Bells**

"Batman smells, Superman is awesome!" Valkyrie declared, punching the air as she settled down on the comfortable armchair, setting her feet up on the coffee table in front of her.

Tanith rolled her eyes and perched on the settee, facing her black haired friend. They had been having the old age Batman vs. Superman since the car ride in the purple menace to Skulduggery's house.

Skulduggery, having no clue who either of this weirdly named beings were, stepped into the living room, making his way towards the fireplace. He made sure to pause and beat down Valkyrie's feet off the coffee table but she promptly put them back up.

Fletcher bounced into the room after the skeleton detective, ruffling Val's hair on the way past before settling beside Tanith, who raised a perfect eyebrow and shuffled as far away from the boy-wonder-of-failure (As Shakra and Skulduggery had jointly named him).

Skulduggery leant against the fireplace, tilting his hat to the side as he glanced from each face. "Where's Ghastly?" he asked, avoiding from looking at Tanith.

"Bathroom."

"Mental images!"

"Oh…Okay, nice to know.

"Moving swiftly o-"

SMASH!

All four beings swiftly turned towards the smash window, all those sitting jumped up and all those now standing ran towards the three offenders who stood, grinning happily through the man child made jagged hole in the glass window.

"Heyyylloo!"

"Shakra! Never to that creepy hello again! Ew!"

"Fuck yeah!"

Shakra, Flaring and Druna continued arguing for a while until Skulduggery raised a hand to silence them. Shakra promptly hide the cricket bat behind her back and all three teenage girls adopted the shifty eyed look (Which Druna created).

"What the hell?" was the reasonable question that was uttered from the Skeletons mouth.

Flaring raised a boom box and a bottle of her father's best red wine.

"We could have a party? You have a settee, I have mood music and wine, Shakra has a cricket bat and Druna has the lemon drops. Oh and Pip has the door for Fletcher to run into too." Flaring replied with a large grin.

Sensing, or rather seeing, the confuzzeled looks on Val, Fletcher, Tanith and Skulduggery's face, Druna gestured to behind her where Pip, that handsome brunette from the last chapter, somehow balancing a laptop and a door on his body parts.

No, not _that _body part!

"Who are you?" Val asked rudely, the question directed at Pip. She knew the other three quite well; it had to be said.

"Apparently I'm the son of seven elephant farmers and the daughter of an Arabian Jewish pig smuggler. I know nothing."

"And we blame the fish." All three girls chorused together.

Fletcher and Pip regarded each other, like dogs sniffing each other's derrieres. Without the sniffing. This somehow formed into a deathly staring competition, of which Shakra and Flaring began to take bets.

To cut story short, Pip won because he's made of awesomeness and Flaring, Druna and Skull-man lost because, well, two of them were infatuated with Fletcher. You do the math.

After all the excitement, Skulduggery sheepishly said, "Come in." to the three nut jobs outside his now smashed window.

"Eggcellent!" Shakra laughed and rubbed her hands together, grinning evilly as she clambered through the window and promptly ended up on the floor.

Brushing herself down, she grabbed Val by the ear and brought her over to the "Couch", picking up the discussion of Superman vs. Batman and Dumby vs. Snape.

Fletcher suddenly found himself being dragged off by a fire engine red haired girl carrying wine and a black haired girl with a wooden stick tucked behind her ear. Somehow they were now dressed in cheerleading outfits.

"So you're a Skeleton and you're blonde." Pip said cheerfully to the two remaining.

It seems Ghastly has been in the bathroom for a while…

**________**

**I own nothing but many things at the same time! Thanks Rowan :D**

**I'm off to watch "Have I got News for you"….**

**Signed, Faithfully **

**Druna Malgood.**


	5. Ghostbusters

**Chapter Six- Halloween's coming on and the goose is getting fat, would you please put a penny in the old mans hat, if you haven't got a penny, a halfpenny will do, if you haven't got a halfpenny, God bless you. Or I'll put your windows through.**

"Oh dear. Do my eye sockets deceive me or are there really three human dancing crabs outside?" Skulduggery asked, worriedly as he peeked through the living room curtains.

Fletcher glanced over the skeletons shoulder and shrugged. "Sure why not."

Skulduggery sighed and turned back to the four people in the room. Ghastly had finally left the bathroom, assuring people not to go in there for at least 72 hours and 23 minutes.

They had to pee in Pepsi bottles.

"You do know its Halloween, right Skulduggery?" Val asked, looking up from an old edition of Kerrang!.

"Yeah, yeah I know." He muttered in reply, pacing the room.

Tanith laughed and glanced at Fletcher who currently had his nose pressed against the TV screen, his eyes wide as he watched Pikachu hop across the screen. He petted the screen when he thought no one was looking.

Everyone was looking.

Four sharp raps of the door were sounded, suddenly and Ghastly jumped up, scuttling to answer it.

"Wait Ghastly, don't-!" Skulduggery cried, launching himself out of the room after the scarred dressmaker.

But it was too late.

Three girls dressed up in identical orange crab suits, orange tights and orange converses, literally scuttled in sideways. An Arabian princess, grudgingly entered behind them, laptop in her-I mean his hands.

"Don't ask." Pip said sadly, holding up a hand to silence Valkyrie as he entered the room in a silky dress, high-heeled shoes, a tiara and a lace mask.

Valkyrie shook her head, wordlessly. She had so many things to say but her brain was breaking.

Fletcher glanced away from Pokemôn for a few seconds, joining in the hysterical laughing of Tanith. He promptly turned back, waving his CITV flag.

"I think he looks handsome." Druna said, grinning happily, as she sidled up to him. This was a rather hard feat in a crab suit.

Pip smiled briefly at her before glancing at Flaring, shooting her a death glare. She was in fact the one who had put this ridiculous ensemble on him.

He had drawn the line at Knee-high leather pink high heel boots though.

Flaring didn't even notice and grinned manically at him. She immediately began to dance, doing the crab shuffle once again.

Shakra joined in also, singing her song.

"_Cheese is a kind of meat_

_A tasty yellow beef_

_I milk it from my teet_

_But I try to be discreet_

_Oooh cheese_

_Oooh cheese"_

"Not again." Pip sighed, flopping down in an armchair and crossing his legs in a very womanly pose.

"I'm knicky knacky knooed." Druna murmured and conked out on Pip, draping her crab like self across him. Her closed eyes flickered open for a second.

"Don't tell Draco." she whispered and promptly went back to sleep on the very scared Pip.

Skulduggery raised his invisible eyebrows at how things had just changed. He held up a hand to Shakra and Flaring and they fell silent, still shuffling and making hand gestures.

"What are you strange things doing here?" he asked, glaring at the conscious threesome. Don't take that the wrong way. Or you can, whatever. It's probably true anyway. Pip is an incredibly handsome being.

"'Tis Halloween, my dear fellow!" Shakra said in an incredibly bad Irish accent while patting Skulduggery on the shoulder. He regarded her strangely, sidling away from the weird man-child.

Valkyrie laughed and went back to reading her magazine.

"And," Flaring continued in a loud, dramatic voice, "We brought costumes for everybody! Apart from you, Pleasant. No offence but you don't need one, oh holy Skeleton god."

Skulduggery nodded slowly.

"Annnddd we're going Trick and Treating!" Druna opened her eyes for second to make this statement before going back to sleep.

Valkyrie looked up from her magazine and shook her head quickly, a look of pure horror on her face. "No way in hell are we dressing up and going trick or treating!"

"I'm with Val." Tanith agreed, chewing her lip.

"I'm with Tanith." Ghastly echoed. Everyone turned to him, eyebrows raised. People passed bet money.

"Anyway! But we have alcohol and costumes! And Kenspeckle tied up and dressed in a little Bo peeps outfit! But you can blame Druna for that…" Shakra trailed off, staring out of the window and stroking her long, invisible beard.

**1 hour later of persuasion and dressing up.**

"You cannot be serious!" Val cried as she walked down the stairs and into the living room.

"No, I'm not Sirius. I'm Shakra." Shakra said immediately as the people behind her broke into peals of laughter at the sight of Valkryrie as "Lady Gaga".

She was dressed in a yellow leotard, green tights, Pink knee high boots (Flaring had to shove someone into them!), Blue aviator sunglasses, black lipstick and a blonde wig tied in the shape of a mackerel.

Don't ask.

"It's Lady Haha!" Pip laughed.

"I think you look very nice, Valkyrie." Skulduggery said through his chuckles.

"Feck off!" Was what he got in reply with a very pleasant middle finger gestured at him. She stomped over to the sofa and hid behind Kerrang!. Beside her sat Tanith, unhappily dressed up in an unflattering sheep costume.

"So off we go!" Shakra yelled happily, linking arms with the now awake Druna and Flaring, skipping out the door. Skulduggery, Naked Ghastly, Pip, Tanith and Val all begrudgingly followed.

"Where's Fletcher?" Flaring asked, suspiciously.

**In the far, far land of Fletcher's room…**

Fletcher stood in the middle of his room in front of the wardrobe mirror, staring at his appearance. He was dressed in a Pikachu costume.

"I am rather gorgeous…," he murmured repeatedly to himself as he shook his hips and waved his arms to "Love Game." by Lady Gaga.

Somewhere, Katy Perry coiled up in a ball and cried.

_______

**I know, I know. Halloween was a long time ago! But who cares! :D**

**I own stuff but not much!**

**See ya and Happy Halloween- I mean Christmas-I mean Birthday!**

**Faithfully, Signed**

**Druna Malgood.**


End file.
